|Watch Out, Paper Bad Guys!|
Our mission was to meet up at Kelly’s house in DC at 8:45. We all carpooled in two vehicles for a few reasons. 1) Tina is weaing The Boot. 2) Kat would never make it on her own. 3) It takes more than one adventure girl to figure out what “take the 5th exit on the Rhode Island round-about means? 4) Maryhelen watches the news.
We waited in Kelly’s adorable DC rowhouse to hear what was in store for us on this, our 11th adventure! We were visibly shaken when she pulled out photos of handguns. When we finally started to settle down we got into the car and we asked, “Where? Kelly? Where?” She let us know we would traveling to the delightful county of Prince George. Anxiety Overload. Tina was front seat navigator with a map Kelly handed her with a “blank” second page. We got there though…we just followed the smell of gun powder.
As we waited outside for the doors to open we were struck by the sad, sad state of their security camera. It was hanging by a thread….just like every last one of our frayed nerves.
|Sketchy Security Cam|
10 AM and the doors click open. Patty turns to me and says, “not sure my black flats are appropriate” to which I replied, “umm…take a gander at my black patent leather flats.” You know the scene in Resovoir Dogs when the guys are all walking down the street together and some cool song is playing in the background? Yay, we didn’t look that cool. And when I think back to all of us walking up to the front door I don’t hear a ghetto fabulous song. Instead I hear, “This is it, this is it, this is life the one you get, so go and have a ball.” Yes, that is the theme song from the old 1970’s sitcom One Day at a Time. We were out of our element fo’ sho and that ALWAYS makes for a great adventure.
It was now time to “train” to handle our gun of choice: The 9MM Glock. We lucked out and got Jim. His first question to us was, “Do your husbands know you are here?” Not only was he sweet as pumpkin pie, he also had the patience of a saint. The first thing we had to do was learn how to load our ammo. This is where the first thumb incident occured. For those who do not know me I have seriously funky thumbs. They are short and stumpy and I lovingly refer to them as my “dumb thumbs.” While trying to load the gun my thumbs got in the way and ammo went everywhere. I mean, EVERYWHERE. The girls helped me retrieve the ammo while we were all laughing hysterically.
Tina was having a bit of difficulty pulling back the slide. Her palms were so sweaty and her stance a bit wobbly due to The Boot. I think this may have been Tina’s first attempt to get out of this craziness. She turned to Jim and said, “I don’t think this boot will keep me steady enough to shoot the gun. I think this may be too dangerous.” Jim let her know she was just fine and the boot will actually give her extra support.
One of the girls walked up to take her “test” (I believe it was Stacy) and immediately Jim shouted, “You have already failed.” Apparently if your thumb is anywhere near the back of the gun it can cut you to the bone and he will refuse to give us a band-aid because we should all know better.
We all took our turns taking the test and one by one we passed. Shocking, we know. My thumb could not reach the slide release so he let Maryhelen and Tina know they would need to complete this step for me. Those thumbs were screwing us up at every turn. Dumb, dumb thumbs.
**piece of advice. Do not wear low cut camisole to shoot guns. You may be embarrased when asked to “cover up because the shells may burn your exposed skin.”**
|Shaky Hands and Exposed Skin|
|Patty asking the question of the hour|
I am still wondering how we got through this adventure after listening to Jim tell us (right before we all took our first shot) “You know you could kill someone.” Ahh…so very reassuring.
|Tina still not sure The Boot will give her enough support|
|Patty (please note her updo)|